[ everything behind me seems so insignificant / lost in my confusion ]
- Kim Anderson's Works
- Beautiful Pictures
- Memorable Quotes
- Precious Moments
- OM
[ there are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. and when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand. - "someone like you"]
mentoring & university talk
mentoring was pretty fun. the primary school kids were so cute. my mentee would smile when she dont know how to answer my question. then she has dimples! so cute... haha. then there's this other girl whom we sort of talked to during the games, she said i looked like big S from meteor garden. oh my. i dont like big S!!! anyway, i think she was waiting for us at the mrt stairs. cuz she just suddenly popped up when i reached the landing. haha. she must really like us. lol.
as for the talk, i bacially thought it was crap. it was quite useless for the students. the parents were mostly the ones asking questions anyway. the students were barely listening. i think we were made to come to fill the hall. hung around in school for a while, waiting to see if anyone was talking mrt to orchard. sadly no one. so i took 65 to orchard to meet pau and her friend alone.
oh and mac kana bird shit today. damn funny. cuz dor was saying about bird shit falling before she left to find her friend. and he really kana. then he was making alot of noise about it. and ken actually said, "can you stop whinning?" and mac is a guy. lol. i think my class people are really funny. the guys have too much female hormores probably? hee.
angel and mortal game with senior class starting soon! kinda excited. i like the idea of writing to some mysterious senior. lol.
and i received both good and bad news today. as pau said, it's bittersweet i guess. but i dont think i wanna join co-op anymore. at least not till i find a better, more worth-while reason. i'm still disappointed. somehow. i dont know why. sighz. this is madness.
=S
JoC was confused at 11:36 PM
sinking
i feel that i'm going crazy. is that how i have become? i cant suppress it. i cant change it. this is the way i am now. yes, i do derive some joy from the way i'm acting, but is it all worth it? i dont know. it doesnt matter though. cuz i find no way to change myself back.
so many things are going on now. they are all in a mess. thrown together like clothes in the washing machine. though they dont really affect me in my daily routines, the depression really starts to set in when i'm alone, and all i have for company is the music blasting in my ears. those times i start to think. mostly unhappy and depressing things. i cant block them out. somehow i dont want to. being depressed can be a nice feeling.
sometimes i wish i were invisible. that i could stand around seeing things happening, see people going through their lives, yet not seeing me. that i dont have to bother what my actions would lead others to think. then maybe i can see everything in a clearer light.
i wish i have my room to myself again. the place i can seek shelter from everything.
=(
JoC was confused at 4:41 PM
It Only Took A Minute
Mandy Moore
Dont tell me how i had a vision
That this day would come to be
Call it luck, call it intuition
Here i am (here we are),
Isnt that enough
For a little bit of reality
Fate is good, fate can be real
If you believe it's what you feel
Oh, what a moment
When i looked into your eyes
I knew i got the prize
Oh, baby what a sweet surprise
Chorus:
It only took a minute,
Baby to let you in my life
It only took a minute
For me to realize
It only took a minute
And i knew just what to do
It only took a minute
To fall in love with you
Time and time again,
Boy i 've always been
The only one to think things through
You got a hold of me
Set me free
Who would have known
Right out of the blue
I discoverd the magic of all my dreams that night
With just one look at you
I knew that everything would be alright
Chorus
Here i am isn't that a vision
Here i am isn't that a vision
Oh, what a moment
When i looked into your eyes
I knew i got the prize
Oh, baby what a sweet surprise
Chorus 3X
the chorus is so nice.
=|
JoC was confused at 4:39 PM
s c g s uniform
wore the s c g s uniform yesterday. i think it's the first and last time i'll be wearing it. cuz it's too short for comfort. it doesnt help when people keep telling me that it seems a little short. each time i hear those words, the skirt seemed to become shorter. alone, the skirt didnt seem that short. it would have been nice, if only it was longer. haha.
and i hate it that those f m s s friends of ky are there. always feel that they are keeping tabs on me. come on, they even report the length of my skirt, the broadness of my shoulder to ky. irritating bunch of people. seeing them can really spoil my day.
anyway, there was no running today! we watched a video on micheal jordan instead. he's so freaking good as a basketball player!
and just when i thought today was going to be another disappointing day, i was wrong. it was the perfect ending to a long school day. hee.
erms. suppose to do econs review now. but the article is just too cheem. yikes! shall get to it right after i finish typing this.
so many crazy things i am thinking of doing. if only i have the guts to carry them out. if only i could talk more socially to put my plans into action. but sadly, i dont have all that. i can only imagine what could have happened if i did those things i thought of.
it's getting rather tiring but the excitment is pulling me through. pau said i'm lucky. but actually, being unlucky could have been better. cuz as i said, it's energy draining. and it can get upsetting and disappointing. then again, the excitment and joy, when they do come, cancels all that. but those times are rather rare nowadays.
if only...
D.G: 0
P.G: 2
S.G: 1
=(
JoC was confused at 10:36 PM
yawnz
"like a vision that shines through, you brought warmth to my world."
feeling so tired now. shall not bother to do my econs till the last minute. note: econs test next tuesday. maths test next thurs. oh god.
cheap thrill. that must be it. but at least it's a thrill that can brighten up the day by that little bit. haha.
counter thingy:
D.G: 2
P.G: 2
S.G: 1
just realised how scary the search engine can be. i never knew you could search for blogs like that. anyone knows how to put a lock on blogspot? cuz i'm getting paranoid.
dont feel like blogging much today.
=|
JoC was confused at 9:26 PM
oh my
no wonder i couldn't spot him at all that day. he was at jp.
having less luck nowadays. always missing by a little. argh. why didnt i take the other exit? saddening.
anyway, today passed rather quickly. i would say it's one of the better days. pe was quite a killer though. we ran 9 rounds in total. though so, my stamina is still not improving. haiz...
nothing really interesting happened today though my class did spend some time complaining about that incident. it was damn amusing to hear them speak. words like "gang fight" came up. lol. i was in a good mood today. so i was easily amused.
saw ws and ange in the morning. they took the same bus as me. then on my way home, i met kel choy, yq and ks. and from the double decker bus, we saw stan tan, xx and ant. stan tan was damn funny, waving with such enthusiasm. ant's friends were damn lame, using their hands to make the "call me" sign. lol. i think that was my most fun trip home so far. and i actually managed to have things to talk to yq, ks and kel choy. ironic thing is i used to ignore them whenever i see them around. all of a sudden i'm talking to them. haha.
oh and it's scary how much they know. kel choy knows my bro has a gf, that sam's dad fetches him, and that i play badminton with sam and irene. i bet he knows more stuff. yq knows i got merit for chinese oral. i wonder who told him that. he also knows that i always go out with sam, pau and ky. when i said ky now always not out with us already, he actually said it's because of me. oh god. i havent talked to them so long and they know so much. it's quite freaky to think how much they actually know.
surprisingly, yq knows i'm the sort of person who waits for people to talk to me first. lol. i asked how he knows that and he replied that it was cuz i have a stone face. i can add that on to the long list of words my friends have said about me man. the words that suggest i'm damn difficult to socialise with. haha.
today would have been a wonderful day. but sadly, something's missing.
and here's the counter again:
D.G: 0
P.G: 1
S.G: 0
=)
JoC was confused at 6:24 PM
single's club
i'm the president of a new club again. add that on to the president of the anti-social club. wonder if it will contribute to my PEARLS point. haha. this is lame.
hmm... went HF today to play pool. it was quite funny cuz we were beginners. only jaz was the pro one. he looked damn serious when he plays. -shudders- i was happy as long as i manage to hit a ball. nevermind if it gets in or not. haha. watching sam play is also damn amusing. lol. then we went for dinner before sam, pau and i headed to pau's house.
and i must really stop drinking each time i visit pau's house before i need to get into Alcoholic Anonymous. i tried doing my chinese but of cuz i havent finish it. i'll get to it soon. haha. was talking and gossiping with them there. i'm suddenly reminded of what one of my male classmate said, "now i know why you girls like to gossip liaoz. it's so fun!" haha. true true. nowadays guys gossip more than girls, if not the same. hee.
oh yes. i went to this temple in the morning, and there's this lady who is very good at reading you. she looked at me, then at my palms and she could tell things about me that most people dont even know after knowing me for so long. maybe it was the way she talked and her gaze, i suddenly teared at one point. and she wasnt even saying anything sad. she was just saying about my personality, which i already know. i felt so dumb man. lucky mum and sis didnt see. and i managed to keep the tears in. haha.
i think sometimes just hanging around to talk is fun. and it's cheaper too. hee.
=)
JoC was confused at 11:20 PM
bye sha
first there were seven. then there were six. then there were five. now there are four.
the number keeps decreasing this year. pretty sad. it would mean only four of us would be attending OM singapore 2004 this year.
quite a number of people turned up to send sha off. a few weeks ago, she still said only about ten people would turn up. haha. anyway, by the time she got to us after hugging the others, she was already very upset. she was like telling gil not to cry when gil wasnt crying yet, and then she started crying. then gil told her not to cry and ended crying too. haha. shu didnt want to look at sha cuz the more she looked, the more she felt like crying. this time, i was the tissue dispenser.
i hope sha will be happy wherever she goes.
=|
JoC was confused at 11:13 PM
