[ everything behind me seems so insignificant / lost in my confusion ]
- Kim Anderson's Works
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- OM
[ there are some things in this world you rely on, like a sure bet. and when they let you down, shifting from where you've carefully placed them, it shakes your faith, right where you stand. - "someone like you"]
long absence
it's been almost a month since i last blogged. time really pass damn fast when you dont keep track of it. but when you do, it crawls bloody slow. like how far december seems.
things to do: oral presentation. pw file. open house. exhibition. 2 tuitions. it seems like i'm more busy after promos than before promos. but i kinda like the feeling of being busy. makes me feel important. for that little while at least.
oh and i think my pychological problem is getting worse. i would walk a longer way just to avoid having to walk through people. but when there's really no choice but to walk through people, be sure i'll prepare to look at a certain point just to avoid looking at people. haha. ridiculous. i know. i just cant help it.
anyway, i hope all my friends make it through promos. i hate the helplessness i feel when people get very upset but there's nothing i can do which would make them feel better. let's face it, even though we cheer people with words when they are down, how often do those words actually help? at the very most, your words just tell them you care. but their situation still doesnt change. even after trying to cheer a person up, i'll still feel so damn helpless.
everyone's situation is different. you offer words to cheer them up cuz you wanna help make things better, but the person might just think you dont freaking understand what he/she's going through; that you are just saying words to get him/her off your back; that you only say what you said cuz you dont understand. they would think that to you, it's something simple, to them it's freaking painful to get through. true, it's hard to understand what others are going through.
ok. so what i said might not really apply to everyone. but i thought of a certain incident that sparked my thoughts. and something like that incident might just happen again. haiz.
why must life be a freaking rat race? it costs us so much pain and sadness, yet we just cant decide that we dont wanna compete in the race anymore. we just cant.
maybe it's better to be some other animal.
and i realise i cant link up my paragraphs and sentences smoothly. yes sam, this is one thing i learnt from doing pw.
=
JoC was confused at 10:55 PM
